You have probably never been so soaking wet in your life….neither have I. I am walking to the BART station in the rain. I have my rain jacket on….it isn’t helping much. Rain doesn’t bother me too much….unless it is as cold as it is. I hate cold AND wet. But for now I am dry inside my jacket. My hands are cold. I hate that. I put them in my pockets. Now the inside of my pockets are wet, and cold. Sigh. Just then I start to feel a coldness growing on my back. Strange. Then it hits me. It is wetness. Sigh times 2. I walk along getting more and more wet. I am the stubborn asshole that hates umbrellas. I just hate carrying them. Now as a punishment I am soaking wet. The water seeps in and down my back. Now my front is getting wet. I am miserable. Cold and wet. Easily the 2 worst things to happen to me today. I just wanna be home…warm and eating cookies or building a fort with tables and blankets in the living room with my two year old. Instead I am hiking through SOMA and I am miserable. I walk up to Market Street and turn the corner, I can see the BART station now. The rain opens up even harder. Just as I turn the corner it happened….I am stopped in my tracks. There is a man sitting up against the Wells Fargo Bank with his head in his hands. He has a wet sweater and jeans on. And sandals. He is soaking. Like I said….you have never been so wet….neither have I. In all of my discomfort I realize it has never been that bad for me. I never once was in this guy’s situation….NEVER ONCE! I am angry. I can’t believe that our country can’t get it’s head out of it’s ass and do something about it’s people’s problems! I am mad at myself too. I can’t believe I am not doing more to help people. I turn right around and cross the street to Walgreens and buy a cheap umbrella and get 20 bucks cash back. I buy a water with that to get change for the bus. Then I head back out into the rain….which hasn’t let up. I walk back to the he man…sit down beside him and give him the umbrella. He doesn’t say much. Its ok. But he takes it and opens it. I ask him if he has some place to go….and he shakes his head. I give him the rest of my cash…and tell him to go to the laundry mat to dry out a bit, or a coffee shop. Just get indoors somehow. He nods. I want to sit and be with him….But I am getting snapped back to my life. And I frankly cant handle being this cold and wet. So off I go. I wonder if he made it out of the rain. Sigh times 3.
I don’t feel much like painting today. Obvious right? lol. It’s ok. Sometimes I need to see that my problems aren’t all that great. They are big when I am in them. But they could be bigger. That still doesn’t mean that they are invalid. They are real. And taking action, no matter how small creates momentum. That momentum builds over time to create bigger changes. Bigger life.