I am sitting in the Demo Kitchen at work. I just made about 6 dozen cinnamon rolls for the whole morning crew. There are plenty leftover so I start giving them out to customers. Mostly regular customers. A few homeless folks come in sometimes in the morning to get some coffee…I offer 2 of them cinnamon rolls. I am very excited. Today giving really feels good. Urgent. I am anxious. I want to show all the world how good giving can be. I want to help people connect with each other. To not be strangers. Funny that after all these days of giving I still think that I haven’t done enough. I feel like I am only learning and starting out. My project has changed me so much in 5 months. Wow. Almost halfway! I am reinvigorated each day, with each gift I am ready to start a new. I am alive. I feel it. I feel my connection to people. I feel like I know a secret and I just can’t keep it in. I know love.
This butterfly is my attempt to paint this anxious and urgent sense of love and connection. I want to paint this huge abstract feeling. It feels so big….indescribable. I cannot contain it. But I see it in my head. I read a quote that read….(paraphrasing) “The people that truly see the connections between all things often are the same people that see every little thing as wholly amazing.” I feel this sometimes….not all the time. But I can look at bugs and wonder about their life. I see plants and wonder about their souls…I am amazed at so many things that I have overlooked so many times. I do this a lot with music too. I can remember one time in particular, it was when I discovered Peter Gabriel. 20 years after everyone else. And I couldn’t stop talking about his music to anyone who would listen. I had found genius and had wondered if anyone had ever seen or heard it. Of course they had…but I was busy at the time with other things. How funny? Good night.
SOUNDTRACK: Explosions in the Sky, Earth, Bardo Pond (all band names)