Day 16 – Good Bye Old Friend

This is already a very long and crappy day.  I am laying in the emergency room at St. Luke’s Hospital.  I decided to come in because my jaw is in immense pain.  The nurse comes in to check on my pain level.  I tell her 5 or 6.  She leaves.  A scream from another room is demanding some assistance.  This makes laying here even worse.  My jaw has been swelled up and hurting for 3 days now.  I have taken 4 Vicodins, 16 or so Aleves, Amoxacilin, and rubbed my gums with a loads of Orajel to no avail.  My face hurts badly.  I had to come in.  The guy next to me is in his late 20’s…He is here for appendicitis.  It’s his first surgery.  I hear him tell his family that he is nervous and scared.  Theresa looks at me and asks “Do you wanna give him your yogurt card?”  Perfect.  They like the gift.  I tell them that I had my appendix rupture when I was 13 or so…and that he will be fine.  And that after he gets out he is to go directly to the yogurt spot and enjoy it!  He smiles…we both take our minds off of our own predicaments for a minute.  After another hour of blood tests, a CT scan, and wacky morphine dreams my Doctor comes in and gives me the diagnoses….You have Diabetes.  And your swelling is an inflamed saliva gland.  Theresa gasps.  And that is basically how today is going.  You can imagine the details from here…and I am mega depressed.

I had to finish this painting today.  Just like I felt like I had to make that gift today.  It was the only thing that kept me going.  That shared experience of freedom in the middle of our situation was the only thing that kept me going.  I am going to be making some major changes.  My life has changed.  But this project WILL NOT CHANGE!  I am determined to beat Diabetes.  I am determined to finish this project.  I know that it will be a source of strength and compassion for myself.  And I had to do this today. It’s not about obligation….more determination.  If I can make gifts and paint though this, with my sense of purpose and sense of humor intact, then I know I will be fine…Through all of the medications and depression I had to finish this today.  Thanks for listening, I need to get some rest.

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About giftprolific

My name is Joshua Coffy and I am an artist living in San Francisco. You can see my art at www.undersong.com as well. Thanks for your time.
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7 Responses to Day 16 – Good Bye Old Friend

  1. Anonymous says:

    Love You Joshy! -Amy

  2. Tom Coffy says:

    Thinking of you Josh. I am sure things feel bad now. You will gain a different perspective on this situation and it will feel better. Get some books from the library, check out some info on the net. We’re there with you even though we are not there with you. You gotta keep on looking up and forward for your family. You are an anchor for them and an inspiration to many others. -Tom, Darcy, Preston, and Courtney

  3. Amber Golacinski says:

    Josh, Sorry for your pain and the diagnosis. Hope you are soon pain free and feeling better. .I am enjoying your blog, keep on keepin on. Amber G.

  4. Nici says:

    I love you my friend! Some cheesy Marine quote about pain making you stronger comes to my mind- so I guess I do mean something along those lines, but a lot less cheesy, you know? I have decided that I am going to Burning Man next year come hell or high water. I have begun a non-openable (except with tin shears) metal bank fund to pay for my ticket and everything else. Josh, you constantly inspire and amaze me, and I’m going to Burning Man next year for many reasons- one of which is to put my name on the painting you created today. The story behind it really hits home for me, and as much pain and awfulness you went and maybe are going through- it represents hope to me. I would never have guessed that a painting of a donut could mean so much to me. You know, it was my birthday today, and I decided on a whim to buy a dozen donuts at Lucky’s while picking up milk for Audrey. Doesn’t sound deep right? But I’ve never bought a dozen donuts before in my life. I stood my ground with a close relative today and called them on their meanness and unkindness, and everything was fine. The sky didn’t fall…for me that revelation is immeasurable. Also, my brother, whom I thought I would never communicate with again, called my sister (he doesn’t have my number) and wished me love and a happy birthday through her. Hmmpfh, I thought. And then I read todays post here. Well. Thank you again for being you and trying to be the truest, most honest and kind person you can be. You deserve all the best and the most love that the world has to offer you.

  5. Barb says:

    You will be just fine Josh, You have a great following of friends and family and we will all be there for you. Things will settle down and will not look as bleak as they are right now and you will be strong and you will continue to teach all of us about the gift project and life like we have not seen it before. I love you and I am very, very proud of you! You are a very strong person who loves.
    None of this will change! You will always be the fantastic You Joshua Che’ Coffy,

  6. giftprolific says:

    I just wanna say thank you to all of you for your support. It really means a lot to me. Take care of yourselves. Find something to laugh at everyday.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Love you Josh and praying for you! You are a strong person with lots of good support, its just another journey for you. I have faith in you and know you will can conquer this too. Hang in there!
    Sheri

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