I have invited a talented artist that lives here in San Francisco to make some contributions to the blog. Her name is Tiff Pollard. She is doing a gifting and painting project and I asked her to write about it from time to time on the blog. Please welcome her and her own unique voice. Talk to you soon. Take care. This is one of Tiff’s paintings….!
I am done. Totally done with it. I am walking away from ‘dieting’. For good. It’s over. Over the last 20 years I have done the diet dance….I tried to lose weight, eat better, and exercise. And it worked….kind of. I failed a lot. I gained a lot of weight when I was really trying to shape up! Sometimes the medication I take made me gain weight. Still, every time I get on a scale I feel shame. And I am talking some deep long-lasting self loathing. When I put on my clothes I feel embarrassed that I am this way. All pudged out in all the wrong places. Sometimes when I leave my house in the morning I feel like people judge me and my food choices….sometimes I feel that all day. I have tried to ‘be good’ and eat right….But as soon as prying eyes wander I can’t keep up the charade. This just fills me with more shame. I am letting go of the whole thing today. No more shame. No more pressure. No more expectations.
I started reading a fabulous book called ‘Healthy At Every Size’ by Linda Bacon. And it has brought up this change….a shift really in how I see my journey. There a re a few things I want to set straight.
1. Walking away from dieting doesn’t mean that I am not going to get healthier. I am simply releasing the burdens of the scale, people’s expectations, and the myths about bigger people….You know the ones. The ones that say we are all lazy. Or that we lac the willpower to be skinny.
2. I am accepting where I am. I am one sexy motherfucker. If you can’t understand that….It’s really not my problem. Seriously. I am a great guy. I look nice (most of the time) and I enjoy life (most of the time).
3. I am going to be more mindful of the food I eat and make choices based on my own wants and needs and not what people think I ‘should’ eat. Dr. OZ can suck it. I don’t want to hear it. I think fat people have heard every single thing about food….from ‘don’t do this’ to ‘you should try that’. And all we end up with is a handful of sadness that we can’t live up to someone else ideal of health. FUCK THAT.
4. The big food companies want you to stay uneducated about food. They want you to try the next big diet fad. They make a shit ton of money off of your lack of knowledge about what is healthy and what isn’t. You are keeping their pockets lined with cash….I’m so done with that.
5. I am going to positively talk about body diversity. People come in all different shapes and sizes. It’s sad to me that this is not reflected well in our culture. We don’t see a lot of bigger people in popular roles….unless they are to be made fun of. The funny thing about this is that we never ask the tall guy to lose a few inches? Or tell the short girl that she should grow a few inches or people will think she is lazy….So why are we constantly pressuring big people to change? I think it has a lot to do with people’s need to feel like their way is the only valid way to live. And that is just sad. So here I go. Off to find my own answers and find my own way to be healthy. This week’s gift to myself.
This painting is for Beezus Christ Super Car’s Kickstarter Reward. Thanks for supporting the art car of my friend Michelle Lessans.
As I was standing in line at Safeway the cashier asked the person in front of me if they would like to donate $10 to buy a food bag for the needy. The customer responded somewhat rudely that she didn’t have time. And quite possibly she really didn’t have time. But it stirred something in me. I knew before I even had the chance to say yes that I would gift a donation for the needy. Maybe to compensate for the customer in front of me….or maybe just cause it feels good to do something nice. Either way it was the right time to do something. So I did. I love when giving just aligns itself with what is happening right in front of me. Has this happened to you? Was there a perfect moment when you felt compelled to dish out some kindness? I would love to hear about it.
This is a cute little painting that I made a few days ago. I finally got around to writing a small gift story and would like to take a moment to recognize a milestone for my project. Today we reached 30,000 hits! Holy cow! Thank you so much! I feel lucky enough to have shared my story with so many people and in turn, have had so many people share their experiences with me. I have met SO many people because of gifting….and this project. So here is one of my big ideas….I am going to randomly pick someone to give this painting to! That’s right. One of you lucky readers will get picked at random, and receive this cute little painting in the mail. So good luck to all of you. And check your mail. I will send out the painting on Monday, November 18th. Thank you for your loyal interest and readership. You all rock. The other big idea I have is kind of under wraps right now. But you will know more by January. Until then….random gifts and posts will ensue. Thanks. Take care.
The time is now for you to place your orders!
Two of my friends Jill and Tara are both doing this little gratitude project on Facebook where each day, in November, they state one thing they are thankful for up until Thanksgiving Day. I really like that. Keep it up gals!
I also want to take a small amount of time to say thanks to someone. My mom. She has been visiting for about 3 weeks and she is going home to Florida today. While she was here she helped in more ways than I can list. She did all the dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, and babysitting. She helped me clean the garage, take stuff to the dump, arrange transportation to various events, go to art shows, and prep my open studio. She put up with our mostly vegetarian food! She even dealt with the insane 3 year old and his crazy yelling and rambling. And I just need to say THANK YOU, Mom. You are the best! I will miss you a lot. Take it easy.
I made this painting for her as a small thank you. It’s a cardinal/enzo. She asked me to make it because my grandma and grandpa (her parents) loved cardinals. And this reminds her of them. This is a 6×6 inch painting on wood panel. Well….it’s almost time to get her to the airport. Take care.